Pak Pandir Muthu

AYOYO... this Pak Pandir also cannot tahan one......just as funny.....!!

*MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: "What is your birth date?" Muthu : "13th October." Interviewer : "Which year?" Muthu : "Every year."
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*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview.... "Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?" Muthu replied: "P-O-S-T-B-O-X."
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*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?" Wife: "No! Why?" Muthu : "In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'... that's why." Wife : ?????????
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*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village... Muthu said, "No sir, only babies were born here."
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*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to "WALK! WALK!" The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked. Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, "I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf."
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*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror. Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back. I will drive."
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*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin. Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard "* WASH BASIN * "
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*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : "Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?" Muthu: "It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination."
*****

*MUTHU & PRESS.*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why???????????? Because a lady journalist with a badge which read "*PRESS*" pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did!!!

Pak Pandir Ah beng

Just got email from a friend regarding Pak Pandir Ah Beng... i quite like it, so want to share with you guys.... enjoy.

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>> Ah Beng bought a new mobile.> He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,> "My Mobile No. Has changed.> Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610">> ====================================
> Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.> Friend: Really, what is he studying.> Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.>> ==========================================
> Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.> DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.> Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.>> ===========================================
> Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?> Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?> Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.>> =========================================
> Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"> Wife: How do you know??> Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,> Oh GOD! U have come again.>> ===========================================
> Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,> except the TV in my house."> Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"> Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news...">> =========================================
> Ah Beng ? comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"> He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement.">> =============================================
> How do you recognize Ah Beng ? in School?> He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases> the board.>> ===============================================
> Once ? Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.> So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast> announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would> be hot.>> ==================================================
> Ah Beng ? in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and> Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?">>
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> Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?> Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup> Ah Beng ? - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?>> ===================================================
> Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense> Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail">> =====================================================
> Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"> Servant: "It's already raining."> Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go.">> =====================================================
> A man asked Ah Beng ? why ? Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not> in the morning ? Ah Beng replied ? Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

UNTUK SEKEPING POLISI.....part 1

Dah lama aku tertangguh. Kali ni aku mesti pergi, kataku dalam diam. Alamat dalam tangan ku genggam erat. Patutkah aku talipon dulu? Atau terus saja buat muka sepuluh sen... Ah.. kepala ku ligat memikirkan soal yang makin merasuk fikiran ku.

Dalam pada itu kaki terus saja melangkah ke kereta. Hidupkan enjin, masuk gear dan terus tekan minyak meluncur ke jalan utama. Fikiranku masih berbelah bagi pergi tak pergi. Namun kereta terus ku pandu ke arah tempat itu. Perasaanku berbaur degan takut, bimbang dan risau. Bagaimana kalau tak bagus, bagaimana kalau banyak sangat yang masalah, otakku terus-terusan membuahkan fikiran pesimis.

Ahhh... lantaklah aku mesti buat jugak. Aku mesti jumpa doktor tu. Aku mesti buat blood screened test!. Lambat laun aku perlu menghadapinya juga. Ahhh....kalaulah hidup ini lebih mudah. Bukan ujian darah yang ditakuti...tetapi keputusannya. Ha ha ha...berani makan...beranilah tanggung!!! Ini semua hanya untuk sekeping kertas, yang menjanjikan perlindungan RM500k dengan sedikit bayaran premium. Nawi.... kau memang pandai!!

HAPPY EARTH DAY ALL !!

Happy Earthday everybody,
Let celebrate and bakar bunga api,
More CO2 asap more merry,
And put dear Earth into jeorpady.

Happy Earthday to all earthlings,
22 April we are celebrating,
Everywhere it all happening,
More industries for Global Warming.

Global warming everybody is saying,
With ozone layer keep on thinning,
The snow in Kilimanjaro is also receding,
Once it was all white now nothing.

Polar bears can no more hide,
Against the surrounding which is now not white,
The Eskimos now need aircond inside,
In their Igloo made of tanah liat!

Once there were everywhere Rainforests,
But somehow human greed got the best,
Thick jungles become like bald crest,
Like little hair on Salman Khan's chest.

Still we have to be happy,
On Earthday celebration we must be,
Replanting of forests we should be made plenty,
So that our generation will know which one is Euricoma and which is Meranti.

Dont clear lands for biofuel,
Saving energy should be for real,
Solar, wind and tidal power more practical,
Enough energy for earth friendly fuel...



HAPPY EARTH DAY ALL!!!
22nd APRIL 2008

Islamic State=Welfare State=Negara Berkebajikan

Apa di takut dengan Islamic State,
Cuma salahfaham yang bukan sikit,
PAS dah kata Welfare State..,
DAP asyik tuduh Islamic State?

Welfare State Negara Berkebajikan,
Berhidmat untuk rakyat bukan diri sendiri,
Tak seperti 'Negara Islam' yang di umpan,
Oleh UMNO mazhab Hadhari.

Undi diberi amanah rakyat,
Mandat kepada lima negeri,
Menteri Besar sudah diayat,
Kalau tak berhidmat, nyah kau pergi!

PKR di Selangor DAP di Penang,
Orang PAS tetap setia membantu,
Negara Berkebajikan PAS dah bilang,
PKR dan DAP sudah pun setuju.

100 hari MB Ir. Nizar minta,
Untuk tunjukkan bukti yang nyata,
Guan Eng, Khalid dan Azizan pun kata,
Tok Guru Nik Abdul Aziz tunjukkan cara.

Kebajikan rakyat yang paling utama,
Bukan pencakar langit dan pesta pesta,
Rumah si miskin perlu di bina,
Geran tanah pada yang dah berpuluh2 tahun teroka.

Masjid dan kuil jangan di main,
Jika tak cukup mintalah tambah,
Hormatkan ugama dan kepercayaan lain,
Selagi tidak memecah belah!

Air percuma tiket free,
Kepada rakyat hadiah di beri,
Tanda terima kasih yang tak terperi,
Amanah di jaga rasuah di gari!

Kelantan contoh negara kebajikan,
Warga emas, armalah diberi peruntukan,
Kerja 5 hari, sabtu dan ahad rehat badan,
Boleh juga pegi KB Mall atau Tesco shopping sakan.

Jadi kenapalah Islamic State nak di takutkan,
Hak semua di jamin kerajaan,
Hanya terminologi saja jadi mainan,
Kerana Islamic State = Negara Berkebajikan.

Baruka Bordal
8hb Mac 2008.

BAPISAH BUKANNYO BACARAI.....

Ado maso maso nyo ..kito tapakso bapisah jauah... indak kiro pai balaja waima baniago.. papisahan tapakso di adap an. Kenkadang bapusiang dunio.. jauah bajalan.. bapisah lamo, tapi ingek ...bukan bacarai juo... Itu lah nan adat dunio...



Taringek denai lagu lamo...Bapisah Bukannyo Bacarai... rancak bana lagu eh..takana denai nan kampuang halaman.. tampek jatuah lagikan di kanang...inikan pulak tampek bakasiah...

alahai....takana jo kampuang... Bapisah Bukannyo Bacarai....

Lagu2 Minang dari Bukit Tinggi dapek juo mangubek hati nan laro... Lagu Kambang Bungo ni.. raso eh cukup marawat hati nan duko manganang kampuang tacinto...